North Dakota Republican Party hides straw poll vote totals, should I start Brees or Manning?

The North Dakota Republican party held its first straw poll. It didn't go very well. Mick Huckabee and Ron Paul each got about 4% of the vote, maybe. Party officials would not say how many people participated nor how many votes each candidate received so the results Minot be accurate.


John McCain is so desperate for campaign cash and attention that he's appealing for it in the worst way. McCain said, "I wasn't there. I'm sure it was a cultural and pharmaceutical event. I ... was tied up at the time." Now the campaign is using that line in commercials. Of course torture is bad, but ya don't run 23 bombing missions over a country and expect to get tickled when ya get caught.


Despite being older than time itself, Vinny Testaverde is still playing football.


My Fantasy Football squad got off to a terrible 0-5 start but has bounced back with two consecutive victories. This week I face LaDainian Tomlinson and Steve Smith, well, the team that has those guys anyway. I hope my running backs have a bright week with LenDale White and Brandon Jacobs starting and Reggie Bush as my flex. All three have favorable matchups on paper. I think I'm going to go with Drew Brees over Eli Manning at quarterback and I have the Green Bay Packers slated as my starting defense. Todd Heap is my usual tight end but he's on a bye week so I am going with Eric Johnson from the Saints. My kicker is Robbie Gould but I'll have to snag someone else as he's on a bye next week. I might have too many wide receivers on my team; Hines Ward, Brandon Marshall, Marques Colston, Antwaan Randle El and Ted Ginn. All of them rank in my Top 10 favorite players though, so they get kept. I can only start two this week because I'm using a running back, Reggie Bush, at my flex position. I think I'm going to go with Hines Ward and Brandon Marshall while benching Colston for the first time this season. Colston helped propel me into the playoffs last year but has been a disappointment this year after snagging him in the 5th round.

FEMA fakes a press conference. Bill Clinton heckles truthers.

The "top" U.S. disaster relief agency, FEMA, held a press conference regarding the San Diego wildfires. No journalists showed up so FEMA had its employees pose as reporters. You paid for it. Maybe the DEA should handle the fires. Sheesh. Where is Jeff Gannon when they really need him?


Second-tier Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama recently sounded a lot like Republican front-runner Ron Paul. "I don't oppose all wars. ... What I am opposed to is a dumb war." said Barry.


Speaking of Democratic presidential candidates, Bill Clinton got into it with some "9/11 Truthers" at a speech. It's hard to tell if it was scripted or not. Hillary has long been a favorite of the truthers but now the Clinton family is trying to distance themselves from that crowd in order to draw the Bush Republican voters in the upcoming election.

Gold nears $800 per ounce as toilet paper becomes more valuable than the dollar

Gold is closing in on $800 per ounce. Is the dollar closing in on history?

Some fans of Britney Spears are telling people to support her by boycotting her album. Jive doesn't care.

Unconstitutional revenue cops strike again as they tear apart yet another family.

The Vatican has cleared the name of the Knights Templar by releasing some 700-year old documents. Or, as conspiracy theorists will tell you, the Vatican added to the confusion by avoiding disclosure that the Templars are alive and running the world from an invisible cloud which floats mostly above Switzerland.

New York Times profiles old dude who rakes in over $2.2 so far in October

An old dude who has raked in over $2.2 million so far in October got profiled by the New York Times.

“Sometimes we sit around and figure out, ‘I wonder how much value there is from that?’ ” Mr. (Ron) Paul said.

“They’re totally out of our control,” he added.

As they should be.

Give your man, lady or man-lady a hug tonight.

It doesn't really matter what you like, so long as it's of age and consensual. It doesn't matter if you're gay, a tranny or a bi-sexual. Let's get one thing clear though. I don't have to be your friend. Some of that stuff grosses me out but I'll fight for your liberties till the end. So give your man, lady or man-lady a hug tonight while I keep the government and churches out of your business. Hey baby, or should I say dude, boobs and a sack, hey what is this?


Glove Romney can't talk his way out of this one. Clayton Holdon has a hold on me. That makes no sense. I don't wish I cared. Marijuana should be treated like alcohol. The war on bud is unconstitutional, criminal, immoral and racist. Glove needs to catch a clue and say the magic sentence. "The government needs to leave people alone." Then watch as people rightfully point out his frequent flip-floppage.

NYC cop died from injecting ground-up pills, not 9/11 air

The chief medical examiner for New York City says that former NYPD detective James Zadroga died from lung disease caused by injecting za-droga's.


Andrew Sullivan vs. Red State - Sullivan wins.


Unconstitutional cops still won't leave people alone.


An alleged white supremacist named Black donates money to the most black-friendly presidential candidate. Morons are blaming the candidate for taking the money. Kinda makes ya wonder.

Microsoft to buy stake in biggest waste of time in history

Microsoft beat out rivals Yahoo! and Google so that they could invest $240 million for a 1.6% stake in the biggest waste of time ever.

The chief of the unconstitutional and ineffective Drug Enforcement Agency is leaving her post to take a job with the CIA, oops, I mean Motorola. Also in the news, the DEA is helping to fight the California wildfires. How many government agencies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Of course Dennis Kucinich saw a UFO. How do you think he got here?