Argentina keeps it in the family

Argentina supposedly elected first lady Cristina Fernandez to take the job of her husband. She refused to debate and traveled the world to shop and meet with "world leaders" while the people of her country sat in poverty and crime-riddled cities. Her opposition refuses to concede defeat, claiming an unprecedented amount of fraud.

Fun with fart hammers part 2 - American Stinker

A fine fellow named Rick Moran over American Stinker is upset because the Paul campaign paid money for services to an individual that doesn't believe in the same things he does. Here at Smoke Cocktail what Mr. Moran has done is known as fart chasing. Mr. Moran and Mr. Morrissey seem to enjoy chasing farts while searching for that elusive turd so they can hammer it and smear crap on Ron Paul. It must be frustrating for Mr. Moran and Morrissey to have to hammer so many farts without ever coming across a turd. The joke is on them. There is no turd.

Fun with fart hammers

I can't help but wonder if HotAir.com(R) should be renamed to FartBomb.com. Sometimes that site is a just like a fart machine online. They definitely have the highest fart rate of any website I can think of. ALLAHFARTCHASER might as well be renamed FART HAMMER for the way he/she sniffs out farts and hammers them to create a fart spray. Other fart sniffers then trap that fart spray in a bottle or jar so they can release that fart in the face of other people who must like to have their face farted in. Notice in the comment section (fart list) that the Fartbomb fart-chasers even delve into the topic of baby farts. I'm sure that they won't find this a funny fart joke. Oh well.

Church gets behind Britney, Idol really does give back.

Taking a break from the usual, a Christian Church is getting behind curvy pop-star Britney Spears. (Photo)

It turns out that giving money to "Idol Gives Back" may have actually been worth it. Here is an impressive list of charities that money went to. Now just think how much more effective charities could be if governments and churches didn't ignite so much war and disease, so much oppression around the world.

San Diego is still burning. There is no word yet as to when the space shuttle is going to remove the magnifying glass from that area and give those people some rest.

Make the Republican Presidential Candidates Address Medical Marijuana

I mentioned a few days ago that Glove Romney needs to clarify his medical marijuana stance as he would not be able to shake Clayton "You Gotta" Holdon "Me" and other marijuana advocates. Now it appears as if 10Questions.com is trying to take the issue a step further and raise awareness as to actually get a response from the circus. I will say that I don't think medical marijuana should even be THE issue. The government doesn't have the right to criminalize a plant or the people who consume it, period. I am not a product of the federal, state or local government.


Turkey is accusing the European Union of harboring terrorists. I am hard pressed to name a country that doesn't harbor terrorists. Can you name one, honestly?


Britney Spears ran over a foot as she left a Los Angeles medical facility. The sock, complete with tire mark, went for $1,000 on EBay.


The United States reportedly tops the list of SPAM countries, by a wide margin. It's not all from Ron Paul fans. Many "spammers" are suspected to be CIA stooges out gathering email addresses, zip codes and birthdates for the Total Information Awareness database. Much of this may be done by "the machine" without using actual human spammers. Yes, the Internet clogs its own tubes. Other SPAM rackets are rumored to be run by organized crime syndicates, which these days may consist of a few pimply-faced teenagers or a room full of Russian-Israeli mobsters. You didn't hear any of this from me though.

North Dakota Republican Party hides straw poll vote totals, should I start Brees or Manning?

The North Dakota Republican party held its first straw poll. It didn't go very well. Mick Huckabee and Ron Paul each got about 4% of the vote, maybe. Party officials would not say how many people participated nor how many votes each candidate received so the results Minot be accurate.


John McCain is so desperate for campaign cash and attention that he's appealing for it in the worst way. McCain said, "I wasn't there. I'm sure it was a cultural and pharmaceutical event. I ... was tied up at the time." Now the campaign is using that line in commercials. Of course torture is bad, but ya don't run 23 bombing missions over a country and expect to get tickled when ya get caught.


Despite being older than time itself, Vinny Testaverde is still playing football.


My Fantasy Football squad got off to a terrible 0-5 start but has bounced back with two consecutive victories. This week I face LaDainian Tomlinson and Steve Smith, well, the team that has those guys anyway. I hope my running backs have a bright week with LenDale White and Brandon Jacobs starting and Reggie Bush as my flex. All three have favorable matchups on paper. I think I'm going to go with Drew Brees over Eli Manning at quarterback and I have the Green Bay Packers slated as my starting defense. Todd Heap is my usual tight end but he's on a bye week so I am going with Eric Johnson from the Saints. My kicker is Robbie Gould but I'll have to snag someone else as he's on a bye next week. I might have too many wide receivers on my team; Hines Ward, Brandon Marshall, Marques Colston, Antwaan Randle El and Ted Ginn. All of them rank in my Top 10 favorite players though, so they get kept. I can only start two this week because I'm using a running back, Reggie Bush, at my flex position. I think I'm going to go with Hines Ward and Brandon Marshall while benching Colston for the first time this season. Colston helped propel me into the playoffs last year but has been a disappointment this year after snagging him in the 5th round.

FEMA fakes a press conference. Bill Clinton heckles truthers.

The "top" U.S. disaster relief agency, FEMA, held a press conference regarding the San Diego wildfires. No journalists showed up so FEMA had its employees pose as reporters. You paid for it. Maybe the DEA should handle the fires. Sheesh. Where is Jeff Gannon when they really need him?


Second-tier Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama recently sounded a lot like Republican front-runner Ron Paul. "I don't oppose all wars. ... What I am opposed to is a dumb war." said Barry.


Speaking of Democratic presidential candidates, Bill Clinton got into it with some "9/11 Truthers" at a speech. It's hard to tell if it was scripted or not. Hillary has long been a favorite of the truthers but now the Clinton family is trying to distance themselves from that crowd in order to draw the Bush Republican voters in the upcoming election.